itch rippleBy: boofar
"I'd ask you to scratch my back, but you'd just have to keep going cause i get itch ripple real bad."
I scratched one itch and it turned into a total itchplosion!
I totally uncovered an itchsurgency yesterday after scratching my arm
Fridgefull thinkingBy: oikz
I checked again for some ice cream, but the fridge still only contained green peas and broccoli, I guess it was just fridgefull thinking.
I keep checking the fridge for food. I think I have a case of fatnesia
Fridge DementiaBy: DefineMe!
"Minute after minute, hour after hour, I'll gaze into my fridge and only see milk that's gone sour. Fridge Dementia has me hoping a ready made buffet will be in it."
Fridge Dementia is the perfect faux medical term for this particular situation.
"That woman just asked me where she could find the pregnancy tests. You can imagine how embarrassed we were after she found out I only work in refail."
I just got clerked at Walmarts.
I made the mistake of wearing a red shirt to the store today, and some old biddy Targeted me to ask about hemorrhoid cream.
"Jen's lipslip revealed that she cared about One Direction more than a woman of her age should."
It's short, sweet, and descriptive. :)
No KnowBy: thatguyybrian
Jerry was talking about periods today like he gets them himself or something. If you're a guy, periods are a no know.
"When she she mentioned a mole on her back I accidentally slipped into overknowage mode."
too far two stepBy: Nickp788
I was walking into the building the other day and this guy held the door for me. I had just stepped onto the side walk. I had to do the awkward too far two step to make it to the door in time.
When she opened the door, I began to awtle.
I wanted to get through the rest of my emails so I could enjoy a good poop without rushing, but unfortunately, my poocrastination went too far and I sharted my pants while at my desk.
Moodie DoodieBy: dbc2201
My 6 year old is such a moodie doodie. I loved kids so much before I had one of my own
The situation where you begin having a texting/imessage conversation about 2 separate topics and your messages go back and forth like a swirling DNA helix - i.e. discussing your specific weekend plans and also an depth conversation about The Avengers movie at the same time
"My mom brought up weekend plans, which caused us to be multiplexting for a while."
Portmanteau of multiplex and texting.
My phone lost connection for a couple of minutes, so when my text was finally send, she had already switched the topic and we started crossconvoing. So annoying!