boofar, 10-19-2013:

17

Mute Humor

By: snowy

There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those who don't" is an example of mute humor

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Nahdarisd, 11-21-2013:

3

Scratchanoia

By: Slayerzxx

A: blah blah blah lice blah blah
b scratches head
B: DAMNIT MAN, NOW I HAVE SCRATCHANOIA

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bananiel, 10-19-2013:

542

Dump n dash

By: Mjtothet

"Walking home from lunch at Chipotle, I had to pull an emergency Dump n Dash at Pho Palace"

Because you dump and then you dash

283

Backdoor Dining

By: Kautsch

"My toilet's broken so I went to the Italian for some backdoor dining."

139

Dirty Tip

By: sanchothefat

"I don't want anyone at work to know how smelly my poops are so I left a dirty tip at the Pizza Hut."

You're essentially leaving a present, except its a dirty one…

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BrunchSpecial, 9-14-2013:

174

Monet

By: bob

Nah man, if you go over there you'll ruin it. She's a total Monet.

53

Distance Appeal

By: heavye

I thought she was hot too, but she only has distance appeal

45

50-Yard Fakeout

By: evanzin

"That girl looks good from far away, but is not good looking close up. The ol' 50-yard fakeout."

Dudes love rating girls, sports references, and alliteration.

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Ancel3, 10-20-2013:

10

Forever - endeavour

By: Von Cabulary

"My parents forever-endeavours drive me crazy! Why can't we just leave when I'm ready!"

4

relatedium

By: Mark Iliff

"Stories from before I was born, patronising suggestions, "haven't you grown" ... utterly relatedious"

Relative + tedious

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themanbat, 9-12-2013:

517

Ringxiety

By: boofar

"I've been having crazy ringxiety lately, but I know my phone is in the car..."

Heard it on NPR about this.

228

Ghost Phone

By: fatdolladolla

My ghost phone is blowing up today. If only I had real friends that would call me.

112

Phantom phonecall

By: pinkbabooshka

"my phone was blowin up earlier and now i'm getting all these phantom calls on my leg"

amputees get phantom limbs, so it makes sense for it to be a phantom call!

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Nickp788, 10-18-2013:

79

Dutch Alarm Clock

By: Xtofer

"I was awakened by the ass-scented fury of my Dutch alarm clock."

Like Dutch oven.

46

Fartle

By: fieldhockey44

I was dreaming about clouds and bunnies when I fartled myself awake.

23

slumber rumbler

By: Nickp788

Last night I was dead asleep when all of a sudden I let out a massive slumber rumbler. It woke me up out of a dead sleep.

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Snakey642, 11-13-2013:

2

Wet Insight

By: qpzm333

I just had a wet insight and now I cannot sleep.

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johnnyboyyy, 11-5-2013:

3

psycho temp

By: oobonedaddyoo

"I turned the hot water just a little but it went psycho temp on me."

The Phycho shower scene is what I feel what happens when I get hit with sudden hot/cold in the shower.

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