goofballh2, 11-4-2013:

11

Public Masturbation

By: Infadale

"Dude did you see that guy? He was acting like public masturbation is nothing!"

Because that's what it is.

9

al bundy

By: TheMuseLuci

"I wasn't thinking and al bundy'd in the classroom."

in "married with children" the main character al bundy often sticks his hand in his pants when comfortable.

Comment

TameJames, 4-10-2015:

7

Ticknorance

By: Howe-Oh

"I tried to check the time just now but was ticknorant."

Comment

maxefremov, 10-18-2013:

392

Brain Lag

By: Drexl

I was worried I'd never remember what I was going to say about your mom, but it was just brain lag.

78

Neuron Rebound

By: dlandes

"I have these neuron rebounds all the time, but I never really forget what I was going to say."

The Neurons in the brain rebound.

27

Caboose

By: skillbilly

"Oh, it feels so good to caboose back up to a train of thought, I almost forgot that story!"

Engines in the trainyard ride around to the back of the train of cars, caboosing them into place.

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Slayerzxx, 11-21-2013:

167

The Train Glaze

By: espurr.net

My phone died so i had to train glaze for the whole ride

29

Floor Appreciation

By: Burritozi11a

My, I've never seen linoleum patterened that way before.

Comment

nassan, 6-1-2014:

14

A drive-by sky-fry

By: nassan

Cat: "When I was driving cross country last week, I got a terrible sunburn from sitting in the passenger's seat all day."
Nathan: "Oh, you mean you got a drive-by sky-fry?"
Cat: "Nathan, that was dumb."
Nathan: "But admit it, you like it."

4

Car-bonized

By: LordCarnivass

Oh, men, I drove 1347 miles and I got car-bonized.

Comment

miles, 9-19-2013:

298

booting

By: miles

Don't make me answer that, I'm still booting. Get me some coffee.

39

Morning Haze

By: titihood

In my morning haze I put odd shoes on and now look like a real muppet.

18

Uncoffeed

By: Maddy

"I couldn't have a full on conversation with the postman as I was uncoffeed,"

That feeling in the morning before your first cuppa coffee

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Atlas, 10-21-2013:

8

carffee

By: matiasb

"I drove three miles away, my carffee was still hot"

1

Ricoffee Rodriquez

By: tdiesman1

"I was driving to work normally but then I found out my coffee was Ricoffee Rodriquez."

Comment

Luigizus, 10-30-2013:

85

urinal wookie

By: boofar

"A few more hairs in that thing, and I'll be convinced I'm taking a leak on Chewbacca."

44

Hairy Potty

By: aww

...and the Chamber Pot of Secrets

10

alopeecia

By: bigshape

"where the heck did all these pubes come from? guy before me must have had alopeecia... "

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EpicDude, 11-1-2013:

7

Ironic

By: mrjack

"We stayed indoors to avoid the rain, then a pipe burst! how ironic "

Cos its already a word

5

Murphified

By: Lenca

Jung was about to propose in Grand Central Park, but he was completely murphified by the torrential rains.

Comment

pentatonic, 10-21-2013:

5

procrasti-not-so-bad

By: pentatonic

I thought it was going to be really awful but it was just a procrasti-not-so-bad.

3

post-procrastinatory chagrin

By: pentatonic

I felt a bit of post-procrastinatory chagrin when I realized the task wasn't so difficult after all.

3

20/20 sweat-regret

By: readmush

"Don't 20/20 sweat-regret calling the plumber. It's not so bad."

"20/20" is already used to mean past insight. Procrastinating can cause stress which causes sweat, which is regretful if it was avoidable.

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