Premature ResuscitationBy: sobrietypolice
"I prematurely resuscitated myself an hour before class and didn't know what to do with myself."
morning terrorsBy: hoverkraft
I woke up and was like, oh shit, I'm gonna get fired, but it was just a case of morning terrors.
Wake 'n FlakeBy: ronsmilo
I had the worst wake 'n flake this morning. I was half way dressed before I realized it was only 5:15.
Oh shit! He just got kicked in the balls. I totally nutterstand.
Sympathy ScroteBy: albeedee
"Saw this guy get whacked in the knackers. I had sympathy scrote for ages afterwards!"
It's a play on sympathy pains.
Man, Jamie got kicked in the nuts I was so shocknutted I almost puked.
"Woah what's up dude?!"
"Oh just had a trashback to last year, that was embarrassing man."
"I had a subiphany today. I am not going to make it to the party because I remember it's hard to get a cab here."
"Sub" can be used as a negative word, like in subtract. Replace "ep" in "epiphany." (The "b" in "sub" and "p" in "ep" are voice/voiceless consonant counterparts, so that helps it sound like a perfect alteration.)