Could you guys get over your rock-paper-indecisiveness and go on scissors already!
Jeff and Tim took forever to get out of that ro-sham-bodown.
"Ugh, stop misfiring on Scissors -Shoot means shoot a sign - synchronized shooting is important!"
You shoot in Rock Paper Scissors and with guns; you may also misfire in both activities.
Premature ResuscitationBy: sobrietypolice
"I prematurely resuscitated myself an hour before class and didn't know what to do with myself."
morning terrorsBy: hoverkraft
I woke up and was like, oh shit, I'm gonna get fired, but it was just a case of morning terrors.
Wake 'n FlakeBy: ronsmilo
I had the worst wake 'n flake this morning. I was half way dressed before I realized it was only 5:15.
douche bragBy: schachy3
don't be such a douche brag
white whineBy: DefineMe!
"Caleb: My asswipe of a little brother just got arrested for DUI while leaving Lebron's retirement party. They impounded MY CLA AMG!
Lourdes: God why is life so rough? My dad wouldn't let me pursue an internship with Givenchy when I graduate. He wants me to go to Dartmouth!
Eddie: All this white whine has left a bitter taste in my mouth."
White Whine: where one man's lamentations is another man's sign of conceit.
"Jen's lipslip revealed that she cared about One Direction more than a woman of her age should."
It's short, sweet, and descriptive. :)
No KnowBy: thatguyybrian
Jerry was talking about periods today like he gets them himself or something. If you're a guy, periods are a no know.
"When she she mentioned a mole on her back I accidentally slipped into overknowage mode."
"Dude was that a fart or a grart"
growl + fart
controlled explosionBy: nialllarkin
Jesus Hank. I hope that was a controlled explosion. Please tell me everything was handled internally and we do not need to evacuate the are
gut fartBy: dgrant
I swear that was just a gut fart. Wanna go eat?
"Never hurts to sheepfeel a crowd before putting yourself out there too much."
Well, you put your feelers out to see if you're going to be yourself or just part of the flock.
depth probeBy: hoverkraft
I'm still depth probing these kids from work. They seem cool but I think they're kinda religious.
Tig Notaro's "Live" comic routine is so horrorlarious that I almost peed my pants half-laughing/half-crying.
"The movie was so gloriffic I cried and laughed at the same time. "
Combines the words glorious and horrific.
"I saw someone propose to a girl on their first date, totally cringic."
Don't make me answer that, I'm still booting. Get me some coffee.
Morning HazeBy: titihood
In my morning haze I put odd shoes on and now look like a real muppet.
"I couldn't have a full on conversation with the postman as I was uncoffeed,"
That feeling in the morning before your first cuppa coffee