matiasb, 10-21-2013:

13

Identiscent

By: ebubu

"Do you know whose hoodie this is?"

"No. Identiscent it and see if you can tell."

Comment

That1guy488, 11-23-2013:

12

nod-off

By: cocobabe89

You are shaking your head yes but honestly your mind has left the building

1

Smart-Break

By: sindlepill

"When John was talking about giving birth to deformed lions out of his crusty bumhole, I tried to play along and said that I also have given birth to deformed lions out of my crusty bumhole, but then he realised I was lying, as i had a smart-break"

-1

ignolisten

By: tdiesman1

I like Fred, but his conversations go on so long I have to ignolisten the whole way.

Comment

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Ash, 10-18-2013:

666

Trustache

By: notjustanymike

That guys trustache really sold me on these boots.

19

the "Selleck-effect" or "Sellek"

By: BeezerB

"I just knew I could trust that guy. Must've been the Selleck-effect."

Tom Selleck has a great 'stash. Enough said.

Comments (1)

boofar, 10-10-2013:

820

AwkWalk

By: Vartex81

"I totally just Awkwalked my co-worker at school"

Because it's awkward to walk next to someone after you've already said goodbye... Total Awkwalk moment

131

Bonus scening

By: albeedee

"So I said goodbye to her outside the bar. But we ended up bonus scening all the way to the bus stop. Awkward!"

What you get when you think the movie has finished.

49

Wayfarewell

By: crystalraven

"I said goodbye to Leo, then we awkwardly wayfarewelled. "

Wayfaring + Farewell

Comment

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rattfink138, 10-30-2013:

19

phantom pussy

By: gunes123

I felt Mr Blumkeens jump on the bed but when I looked it was just a bad case of phantom pussy

Comments (1)

Turk, 10-19-2013:

102

earworm

By: UnkleF

"I have an earworm, I can't get that song out of my head."

Reminds me of Checkov in StarTrek 2. (Just saying...)

15

Song Wedgie

By: kdtrew

Have you heard Avicii's new track? Mon, total song wedgie roysh there.

9

mindtrack

By: KaaSerpent

"My mindtrack is driving me crazy. It's just 'Dance With Me' over and over and over."

It's a combination of "mind" and "soundtrack."

Comment

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10

Whoopsting

By: ScootBenet

"I was sending my wife a sext of my penis when I realised I'd been whoopsting my mum."

Whoops gets across the accidental nature while -sting suffix is redolent of texting.

1

Mischat

By: Lissy13

I say mischat because youve mistakenly started a chat with someone else.

Comment

SwagYoloSnapback, 10-19-2013:

238

Erection Campaign

By: YoloSnapbackSwag

Looks like I have to start my Erection Campaign if I want some of that guy

97

rooster chase

By: DefineMe!

"It's been eight weeks and my rooster chase to win Tyler's heart has gone nowhere. Maybe I should just give up. But how can I ignore his marble carved chest? I just want to jump his bones."

A rooster chase is a quick game of darting compliments and dashing sensibilities.

Comment

Doenitz1, 5-16-2015:

4

Pervetongue

By: Tobearius

The phenomenon when you say something which sounds perfectly normal in your head, but when you say it, either your inflection or pronunciation makes it sound perverted.

Comment

csr0897, 11-11-2013:

3

Rejoketed

By: tdiesman1

I had this great joke for him, but when I said it I got Rejoketed.

2

anti joke

By: kaza12345678

wiki it

Comment