The Breadend

Alan hit the breadend when he was going to make a sandwich; someone had eaten the last two actual slices

Nob Knob

"I went to grab a slice of bread, but all that was left were the two Nob Knobs that no one wants."

The two ends can be called Knobbies, or something similar.

loafer

that part of the bread loaf which is mostly idle or good for nothing i.e. loafer

Starbucks naming

I just couldn't make him pronounce my name Rutger... so I just told him to call me by my Starbucks name: Roger.

Say milkshake moment

"Malk"
say milkshake
"Milkshake"
now remove the shake
"malk."

Air Stair

I hit that air stair so hard, I thought I broke my ankle

Stomple

"I miscalculated the stairs and stompled at the bottom. "

Portmanteau of 'stomp' and 'stumble'.

step check

"Christ! I just step checked so hard I felt it in my skull.... ugh..."

The test that flights of stairs perform to see if you're paying attention...

Gass Who?

I like to play gass who? in the elevator

Fartaganist

Fart and antagonist

Fartception

I was on the couch until I moved and caused a fartception.

Fauxnetics

Faux Phonetics, ie sounding it out

Teleporting pebble

Damn it I got a teleporting pebble in my shoe!

Shoecleaner

*Walks down the road that has no pebbles near it at all* A wild Shoecleaner appeared!

Coldkey

It really bugs me when I see other people coldkeying.

niblings

"Great news, honey! We get to babysit the niblings this weekend!"

It's reminiscent of sibling, but with the n instead, which ties in niece and nephews

Nibling

"I got into a nerf gun fight with my niblings at thanksgiving - I felt like a kid again"

I believe this is the actual word for this - https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/nibling

kinflock

"Last year's Thanksgiving was an utter nightmare! Somebody should really tell cousin Shayla to take a hiatus on the wanton procreation. We needed three turkeys to feed the sudden kinflock."

Are you suffering from the sudden explosion of nieces and nephews? Are you tired of all the precocious Braydens, Jaydens, Emmas, and Madisons in your extended family? Does your cousin Shayla randomly browse a high school yearbook and manages to sleep with every guy on the page?

Then "kinflock" is the word for you.

Forgessive

Forget + Obsessive

Mailxiety

Man, when I went to put that mail in the blue mailbox, I got some Mailxiety!

Risky mail

I just pulled a risky mail