After 10 shots of jaeger I was dumbstepping so much it may as well have been on the yellowbrick road.
"Gosh I'm so clumsy, every time I walk across that rug I footflop. "
like flip-flop since they make you do it so much.
*snicker* "Nice skiptrip."
"Thought I had a bloody nose, but the snot-check was clear."
"After sneezing, I did a quick mucus-lookis, but everyone still noticed."
It almost rhymes!
litmus wipeBy: DefineMe!
"Sarah grosses me out! Last week she had a sinus infection and was completely obsessed with litmus wiping. If I have to look her gazing at reddish mucus tucked into a matted ball of tissues I'm going to gag."
Blow gently and check intently. The litmus wipe is the perfect nasal barometer.
Murphy's cousin's lawBy: boofar
Murphy's Cousin's Law states that if anything broken is shown to another person, it will inevitably begin to work again, thus complicating the actual problem solving process. Despite the appearance of being fixed, Murphy's Cousin's Law is actually consistent with Murphy's Law because something is going wrong as you're trying to diagnose what's going wrong.
"I swear to god that the toilet could not flush a few minutes ago," I say to the noisy plumber. He replies THAT I MUST HAVE JUST GOTTEN PROBFOOLED, deafening me for life.
a courtesy browseBy: negatron
"I somehow wandered into a indian art store, gave it a quick courtesy browse, and gtfo there... They probably thought i was shoplifting... "
I mean, it's just the courteous thing to do, but I can always feel their stares as I try to sneak back out of the store...
I spent all fucking morning looking for my glasses, only to realize 5 mins before I had to leave that the whole ordeal was a glassventure.
Wild Glass ChaseBy: n00b4liciou5
My poor memory caused me to go on a Wild Glass Chase for my specs!
False FollicleBy: Debonair
"I spent twenty minutes looking for my glasses, but they were just on my face, it was a false follicle"
Latch Looking -By thatguyybrian, over 6 years ago
disgusting-watery-saucy-stuff-that-looks-like-condiment-diarrhea -By Gerry, almost 3 years ago
50-Yard Fakeout -By evanzin, over 6 years ago
Pointer Spasm -By BigfootBeto, about 6 years ago
Optical Injury -By lmaokk, almost 2 years ago
Schrödinger's Mac -By RLM, over 6 years ago
Load lament -By shining.midnight, over 6 years ago
False Follicle -By Debonair, about 4 years ago
Page sage -By Jag, over 6 years ago
phantom pussy -By gunes123, about 6 years ago
gonegoogle -By elysecat, about 4 years ago
thinkulating -By Jazzenstarr, about 6 years ago
FFR (Fit from far) -By chunky, almost 4 years ago
google gap -By thebomb42, about 6 years ago
Sleepinated -By JBentley0207, about 1 year ago
Fry-loading -By duncansdad, over 6 years ago
Glassventure -By lettersandspaces, about 6 years ago
Post-Status Stress -By ChildPredator, about 6 years ago
dishapointment -By mturner, over 6 years ago
litmus wipe -By DefineMe!, over 6 years ago
ForGoogled -By dog_in_the_vent, over 6 years ago
Tabhugger -By SimonS, over 6 years ago
Boredom Hunger -By TheAnswerer, over 3 years ago
Mutafruit [myoo'tah'froot] -By RockPaperScissors, about 6 years ago
Shamerock -By TheAnswerer, over 3 years ago
Nostaggravation -By DomJackman, about 6 years ago
Optical Occlusion -By ncolaprete, about 6 years ago
Phantomachment -By Chewitt, about 6 years ago
When you are being all super-efficient and shoot off a quick email with the sole purpose of forwarding an attachment. And you give said email a short title and body that says little more than 'here's the attachment mate'. And you then proceed to press send on the email but have forgotten to attach the actual attachment.
24 (Twenty Four) -By ticktock, over 2 years ago
Morning Haze -By titihood, about 6 years ago
Gawkward -By craftiful, about 5 years ago
Fallergy or Falleric -By Hquinzel, almost 3 years ago
Comical Contortion -By TheCookieMonster2673, about 5 years ago
Timenesia -By Stuart.collett, about 6 years ago
dust horizon -By rexwarneford, over 6 years ago
poot spooked -By DefineMe!, over 6 years ago
The Contemplations -By boofar, about 6 years ago
bagfries -By jjclarkson, over 6 years ago
mild moose chase -By wordreaper, about 6 years ago
Poserpost -By barryw, over 6 years ago
first world diet -By internetfriend, over 6 years ago
Eye Taster -By BigfootBeto, about 6 years ago