I had a bagasm when I finally saw my bag! I just knew the airline had lost it!
lugloveBy: zeb decatur
I was feeling some serious luglove when I finally saw my bag round the corner at baggage claim.
Bag blissBy: AnnaBanana
When I saw my suitcase full of japanese sex toys come through the baggage claim, I was overwhelmed with bag bliss.
Nah man, if you go over there you'll ruin it. She's a total Monet.
Distance AppealBy: heavye
I thought she was hot too, but she only has distance appeal
50-Yard FakeoutBy: evanzin
"That girl looks good from far away, but is not good looking close up. The ol' 50-yard fakeout."
Dudes love rating girls, sports references, and alliteration.
BuffstrationBy: Randy Muff
Yo dogg, I'm hella buffstrated bcuz diz vid had hella thumnails n shit that align wit my interests.
Vidi from video, woe from.. well, woe
buffspensionBy: Coleman Falcon
Harry stared at the screen in total buffspension. Had Max really posted their most private sessions?
"That woman just asked me where she could find the pregnancy tests. You can imagine how embarrassed we were after she found out I only work in refail."
I just got clerked at Walmarts.
I made the mistake of wearing a red shirt to the store today, and some old biddy Targeted me to ask about hemorrhoid cream.
idiot gloryBy: DefineMe!
"I left Jeff and Brad's apartment early last night. All they did that evening was swap stories about how they used to fool around with firecrackers and household cleaners back in middle school. I decided to hit the clubs and leave them to bask in their idiot glory."
Remember that time you took your father's riding mower over a homemade skateboard ramp? It was awesome then and somehow you managed to cheat death. Idiot glory fondly recalls those not-too-bright moments of cheap thrills.
nutstalgiaBy: Mark Iliff
"When I think back to the number of times I nearly drowned I get all nutstalgic"
Nostalgia for something that was nuts
Premature ResuscitationBy: sobrietypolice
"I prematurely resuscitated myself an hour before class and didn't know what to do with myself."
morning terrorsBy: hoverkraft
I woke up and was like, oh shit, I'm gonna get fired, but it was just a case of morning terrors.
Wake 'n FlakeBy: ronsmilo
I had the worst wake 'n flake this morning. I was half way dressed before I realized it was only 5:15.
That poo was so big I cleaned my ass with the splash back.
flushroom cloudBy: robben
"I dropped an s-bomb and it made quite the flushroom cloud"
A mushroom cloud appears after an explosion
Dirty BidetBy: AdmiralJowlins
My poop dropped so hard, I recieved a dirty bidet.