themanbat, 9-12-2013:

618

Ringxiety

By: boofar

"I've been having crazy ringxiety lately, but I know my phone is in the car..."

Heard it on NPR about this.

270

Ghost Phone

By: fatdolladolla

My ghost phone is blowing up today. If only I had real friends that would call me.

134

Phantom phonecall

By: pinkbabooshka

"my phone was blowin up earlier and now i'm getting all these phantom calls on my leg"

amputees get phantom limbs, so it makes sense for it to be a phantom call!

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BKbuddy, 9-23-2013:

816

Heyman

By: bri

"I can't ever remember that dude's name... total heyman to me. "

Avoid using their name by saying "Hey, man..."

146

John D'oh

By: DonGaspacho

After talking for twenty minutes with that John D'Oh, I just gave up and hid in the bathroom.

53

Heymate

By: Cunt

"Heymate, what the fuck did you do with my frenulum!?"

As opposed to the American-English term "Heyman", "Heymate" is more common in the Southern Hemisphere after ripping banjo strings.

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roningold, 10-19-2013:

503

Multiplexting

By: otac0n

"My mom brought up weekend plans, which caused us to be multiplexting for a while."

Portmanteau of multiplex and texting.

48

Crossconvoing

By: 1911951653

My phone lost connection for a couple of minutes, so when my text was finally send, she had already switched the topic and we started crossconvoing. So annoying!

Comment

bananiel, 10-19-2013:

607

Dump n dash

By: Mjtothet

"Walking home from lunch at Chipotle, I had to pull an emergency Dump n Dash at Pho Palace"

Because you dump and then you dash

316

Backdoor Dining

By: Kautsch

"My toilet's broken so I went to the Italian for some backdoor dining."

151

Dirty Tip

By: sanchothefat

"I don't want anyone at work to know how smelly my poops are so I left a dirty tip at the Pizza Hut."

You're essentially leaving a present, except its a dirty one…

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cornpop, 10-18-2013:

506

Brocabulary

By: LHK

Ever since Mike and I started working together, he's got me saying "Totes for defs" with him, so I guess that's just a part of our brocabulary now.

51

vocabulitis

By: incontinent doom

Every time John goes surfing he gets an acute case of vocabulitis.

14

Wordopt

By: Albinoghost

"I've been hanging out with you too much, I've starting wordopting your lines!"
"I'm getting a bad case of wordoption from you."

Portmanteau of "word" and "adopt".

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468

Tabnesia

By: duncansdad

Wait, do I have tabnesia or didn't I just close this?

160

reddit

By: wanderjahr

I got bored of reddit so I opened another tab of reddit.

145

backtabbing

By: kpopbrandy

"Gosh, I was so bored yesterday I kept backtabbing to reddit."

why not my word?

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Force, 10-19-2013:

366

Fridgefull thinking

By: oikz

I checked again for some ice cream, but the fridge still only contained green peas and broccoli, I guess it was just fridgefull thinking.

70

Fatnesia

By: WhyTheHellNot

I keep checking the fridge for food. I think I have a case of fatnesia

64

Fridge Dementia

By: DefineMe!

"Minute after minute, hour after hour, I'll gaze into my fridge and only see milk that's gone sour. Fridge Dementia has me hoping a ready made buffet will be in it."

Fridge Dementia is the perfect faux medical term for this particular situation.

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apricohtyl, 10-19-2013:

428

Mimeclimb

By: HardAsFeathers

"Ah ha, I just totally mimeclimbed the stairs"

169

Troll Stomp

By: cbruins22

Holy crap, I was so high I thought the stairs kept going and came up troll stomping!

44

Cleese-step

By: Moose

"Jenkins took a cleese-step at the top of the escalator and crashed into shop window."

The Ministry of Silly Walks approves of this.

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Zyphon, 10-17-2013:

637

Nutterstanding

By: Zyphon

Oh shit! He just got kicked in the balls. I totally nutterstand.

123

Sympathy Scrote

By: albeedee

"Saw this guy get whacked in the knackers. I had sympathy scrote for ages afterwards!"

It's a play on sympathy pains.

17

Shocknutted

By: cake

Man, Jamie got kicked in the nuts I was so shocknutted I almost puked.

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newusername, 10-18-2013:

405

stallmate

By: miles

I got into a stallmate with the guy pooping next to me. I got so frustrated I just ended up leaving.

205

Shituation

By: Phegan

I see we have arrived at a shituation

103

Mexican poop-off

By: jayboloni

I was just about to take a dump when Jerry went into the stall next to me, forcing us into a mexican poop-off!

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